They understand the line, but then there is always a subset of the, the class who, they're gonna test that boundary.

But what do healthy boundaries really mean–and how can we successfully express our needs, say no, and be assertive without offending others?

Shortform note: If you’re faced with toxic behavior at work that can’t be solved by setting boundaries, there are other actions you can take to defend yourself.

As opposed to the healthy, effective methods for communicating and reinforcing boundaries we’ve covered, many people use passive aggression, aggression, and manipulation to communicate their needs. Or someone who has some financial issues, someone who may just have challenges with doing certain things. Now that we know how to set healthy boundaries in a variety of contexts, let’s consider what happens when others violate our boundaries. Finally, we’ll discuss the ways others may violate your boundaries, offering suggestions for how you can respond when violations occur. Another hurdle for setting boundaries with loved ones is the temptation to let small infractions slide to avoid conflict with the people you love.In both business and boundary-setting contexts, repetition helps people internalize important information. However, behaving passive-aggressively usually doesn’t help you get your needs met because the other person won’t know what they’ve done wrong or how to do better until you tell them. Um, I heard a comedian, Yvonne Orji, talk about wanting to become an actress, and she was in college and her pa—she's Nigerian, and her parents were like, “Oh, no.

Clearly setting expectations in these relationships not only helps you avoid discomfort, it also helps your loved ones meet your expectations and make you happy, which is almost always what they want. They help the other person directly learn from their mistake, without you having to engage in punishment. If you make up an excuse, you risk being caught in a lie, which will hurt everyone’s feelings and damage your relationships. You know, sometimes I get that with people who are grieving and they come to therapy and they're like, “I just want to feel better by next week. And then when we finally set the boundary, the person is so offended because you’ve allowed them to do this thing forever.Defensive people aren’t listening while you’re talking; they’re personalizing what you say and crafting a response. It can be easy to fall into this pattern—when someone does something you don’t like, many people find it natural to sulk or retaliate. If we aren’t proactive about this in our relationships, we can be sure the other person will set their boundaries.