My wife passively aggressively points out my failings to the dog when I'm in earshot. I tell her this is pathetic, but when she goes out, I sit him down and give him my account of events at length." I once filled an entire C90 cassette with recordings of my farts. I wish I still had it. I would say it's my life's greatest achievement. I'm a partner in a firm of Solicitors and I'm 63. Hilarious! The only guide any alien would need to find out what humans are really like’ David Schneider

The book is split into 10 sections, ranging from crime and neighbours, through to family, and of course sex. Each section is then split further, which just breaks up the book a little.FOR ANYONE WORRIED ABOUT THEIR A-LEVELS: REMEMBER THAT IT'S TOO LATE TO STOP CLIMATE CHANGE & MOST OF YOU WILL DIE FIGHTING FOR WATER" The book is themed around the 10 commandments (hence why Rob is dressed as a vicar), with Rob arguing there are life lessons hidden within the admissions from strangers. MORE : Leonardo DiCaprio goes up against Boris Johnson as he praises new Ulez, and we bet that wasn’t on your bingo card I have a one year gap on my resume, which I fill with "working for a marine conservation organisation in Belize". I was actually stripping for the year to clear debts and build a house deposit. I'm a lawyer now. After a heavy drinking session, I shat the bed. Told the wife it was the dog to avoid embarrassment. The size and stench was so bad that she took him to the vet, and found out he was showing early signs of stomach cancer. I inadvertently saved my dog but can never take credit."

I have literally no idea what I'm doing at work and I've been here 8 months. I just sit and edit a fake Excel spreadsheet to make me look busy." A SMIDGEN OF PIGEON IS JUST ENOUGH TO GIVE YOUR KIDS A TREAT, FULL OF PIGEONY GOODNESS UNTIL IT'S TIME TO EAT"Rob spent the last 20 years building interactive web projects, including message board b3ta.com. He started Fesshole with an open invitation from his personal account three years ago asking if people would like to anonymously confess their sins. I answer my front door in my coat, if it's someone I want to see I say I've just got in and if it's someone I really don't want to see I say I was just on my way out, works every time."

I'm not telling you what the lesson is. I'm saying you need to read it and find your own meaning and important lessons of humanity." He later quips: "There's a lot of advice in there on how to screw people over in your office". WHAT'S LASTED 174 TIMES THE LENGTH OF LIZ TRUSS'S PREMIERSHIP AND EQUALLY DAMAGING TO THE UK'S REPUTATION?" THIS NEWSLETTER FAILED ITS A-LEVELS AND IS GOING TO SCUNTHORPE POLYTECHNIC TO STUDY BISCUIT TECHNOLOGY"A REFERENDUM IS WHEN A COUNTRY HATES ITSELF VERY MUCH AND DECIDES TO HAVE A PROXY WAR INSTEAD OF GETTING A PUPPY" From ways to avoid embarrassment to revenge tactics, here are Rob's favourite confessions, with each one based on a makeshift commandment that he warns people should take "very, very seriously"... The father-of-three has made a compilation of the best tweets of Fesshole into a debut book - The Very Best of Fesshole, which was published at the end of October. Actor Elijah Wood – who plays Frodo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings movie series – follows Fesshole, and so does eccentric English artist Grayson Perry.