In this way, you’re showing that you’re in complete charge of your time and priorities, rather than handing that decision to them. This was a pivotal moment, marking the start of Lue’s journey to recovery from sarcoidosis and another, more inconspicuous affliction: people pleasing. No matter what it was — family estrangement, reconnecting with my father and then him dying, work challenges — it always came back to figuring out what I needed to say no to and relinquishing the people-pleasing that was showing up in me in that instance. People often start justifying and over-explaining, which makes them come across as defensive and invites a drawn-out negotiation.

A six-step framework then teaches you how to discover the healing and transformative power of no toestablish healthier boundaries,foster more intimate relationships and fulfilling experiences, andreconnect with your values and authentic self.I learnt so much about myself when reading this book and felt I had to pause it on and off while I digested what I was learning and how it applied to my life and my people pleasing ways. To access your ebook(s) after purchasing, you can download the free Glose app or read instantly on your browser by logging into Glose.

This book certainly helps fill a gap in the self-esteem genre, and also serves as a timely and insightful social and cultural critique. Da ich es leider viel zu gut kenne und es mir oft sehr schwer fällt 'nein' zu sagen, hatte der Klappentext direkt mein Interesse geweckt. I had no idea there were different types of people pleasers but I’m here to say I identify fully with at least three and a half of them.Finance is provided by PayPal Credit (a trading name of PayPal UK Ltd, Whittaker House, Whittaker Avenue, Richmond-Upon-Thames, Surrey, United Kingdom, TW9 1EH).

The “Efforter” says Yes to all demands and gives 100 per cent before realising they are over-committed. People pleasing behaviors might originate from a similar origin but that doesn’t mean all people pleasers operate the same way. Not only that, but I came to realize I have a tendency toward codependency in friendships and relationships.In fact, there are five distinct flavors of people pleasing: Gooding, Efforting, Avoiding, Saving, and Suffering. Instead of waiting, we can say no to anymore of their shenanigans and choose love, care, trust and respect for ourselves in the process. Therefore, it’s tremendously harder to extricate oneself from this behavior of “being excessively compliant” than if one were White.