Hank, a lifelong bachelor and sardine enthusiast, found a tiny, sentient mermaid in his can of sardines.

I thought it would be fun to generate a few of these images (not in the book) to share with everyone. In a baffling twist of fate, local man Hank Peterson found himself in hot water this week, but not for the reasons you might think. I imagine him having an existential crisis and heading to Costa Rica for a few rounds of ayahuasca with a Shaman. This time, I’ve dropped President Joe Biden smack dab in the middle of a Spanish bullring, trading his suit and tie for a matador’s capote.In a shocking revelation that has left many in the magical community feeling betrayed, Fairy Godmother, beloved by Cinderella's everywhere, has traded in her wand of enchantments for a starter pack of essential oils and a relentless multi-level marketing (MLM) strategy. In a shocking development, Apple’s virtual assistant Siri has announced that it will no longer respond to the pronoun “Hey. This stunning shift in virtual assistant identity has left tech enthusiasts, linguists, and casual iPhone users alike in a state of utter befuddlement. By using the Web site, you confirm that you have read, understood, and agreed to be bound by the Terms and Conditions.

Skorts Illustrated, the highly anticipated sports and fashion magazine that celebrates inclusivity, self-expression, and diversity, is thrilled to announce the release of its inaugural issue. It’s Biden as you’ve never seen him before, facing off against the raging bulls of… well, Spain, not Congress this time. In a move that has introverts and antisocial tech enthusiasts rejoicing, Apple has introduced the Vision Pro VR headset — a spatial computing marvel that lets you escape family gatherings without leaving the room.