How did the scissors become a world-famous celebrity? They had a cutting edge over their competition! Short cutting puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cutting humour may include short chopping jokes also. My 12 year old just told me a joke He said I've been trying to cut down the amount of video games I play, I'm only playing for 30 minutes before I go to bed. Last night I went to bed 8 times. I went to the hairdresser and asked for a bob, but they misunderstood and gave me a pair of scissors instead.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. I saw a pair of scissors on a cooking show. They were cutting up a lot of herbs, I guess they were on a roll! I was planning a surprise party for my friend, but accidentally used a pair of scissors instead of a knife to cut the cake. It was quite a close shave! I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper – dicing with death.” – Tim Vine

I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said ‘Analogue?’ I said ‘No, just a watch.'” – Tim Vine I asked the scissors if they’d like to join my gardening club. They said they’d be game, as long as they could branch out. It’s always a good idea to keep your scissors close on a camping trip. You never know when you might need to cut some bears! I asked my scissors if it wanted to hear a joke, but it just “cut” me off! Cutting Edge Clichés: Scissor Puns Snip Through Stereotypes Just found out the local barber has been arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer of his for 15 years and I didn't even know he cut hair.

The two barbers are never short of an audience. Steve opens up shop as early as 5.30 in the morning, with customers frequenting it soon after, although not always for a haircut. It’s 6.45am now and Steve is joined by a local retiree, George, who’s doing the crossword while sipping a frothy Nescafé. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but a great haircut is worth at least a million snips! Snip, Snip! (Scissor Puns in Idioms)

Top answers for HUMOUR crossword clue from newspapers

What did Wolverine use to cut down trees before he got the adamantium treatment? He used a huge axe, man. The scissor and the razor were always cutting along the same lines.” “Cutting Edge Wordplay: Snipping Through Scissor Puns” I know it’s short notice, but we really need to get this done by tomorrow. Trimming the Wordplay: Scissor Puns Snip Their Way through Comedy Me to a ninja: Hey, can you show me how you precisely cut off tree branches with those throwing stars? Shuriken.