Every time I eat eggs benedict I'm reminded of my time in the Netherlands. You know, my Holland days. My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a Greek statue – completely pale, no arms.” – Phil Wang Italian Wars: Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Een Nederlander zegt tegen zijn vrouw: “Johanna, giet een liter water bij de soep, we hebben gasten!” Hoe noem je een kameel zonder bult? Henk! (What do you call a camel without hump? Henk! – very common Dutch name)

Why did the Dutch football team bring a ladder to the game? In case they had to climb the “score”-board.Most celebrations and traditions in the Netherlands are centered around religious holidays such as Christmas and Easter. One of the most popular festivities in the Netherlands is Sinterklaas, a holiday that takes place on 5 December. Although traditionally a children’s holiday, adults also celebrate Sinterklaas by exchanging gifts and writing a humorous poem about the gift’s recipient. Outside the Randstad, you may find that religion plays a more significant part in life than elsewhere. While most of the Netherlands is Protestant, southern and eastern regions are traditionally Catholic. For instance, you might celebrate Carnaval in February or March if you live in Limburg. On the other hand, in rural Protestant areas, shops might be closed and activities discouraged on Sundays. Tips on culture and etiquette in the Netherlands Gallic Wars: Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. I hope these additional funny Dutch jokes brought a smile to your face! Dutch are always very great in humor and love to have fun in their lives. Remember, so feel free to share these with friends and family to spread the laughter! Another word that sounds a little rude in English, slagroom means whipped cream. It’s made up of two words: slag (hit/beat) and room (cream). When you pronounce it correctly in Dutch, it sounds more serious, but no less delicious. Top tip: this tasty Dutch food goes well with a generous slab of apple tart. Hagelslag

Mijn zoontje… Aldies is zijn voornaam – A-L-D-I-E-S, en zijn achternaam is – hij heeft een dubbele achternaam, van zijn moeder en vader – Ghoet – G-H-O-E-T, en een streepje, Koper. When I came across the Afrikaans expressions ‘ ń Klap van die windmeul weg hê‘, literally ‘to be hit by windmill’ meaning ‘to act crazy / unintelligent’I wanted to learn more! Despite there being no windmills in South Africa, this expression went unchanged from its original Dutch form ‘ Een slag van den molen weg hebbe’. My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.” And some jokes for the kids A little mean, a little funny, just a joke with a name. Though this one is quite crazy, as neither Aldies, nor Ghoet nor Koper are common names in Dutch.

What's the difference between a Dutch oven and a German one?

Hoe noem je een dinosaurus als hij in Nederland woont? Een Nederlandsaurus Rex! (What do you call a dinosaur when he lives in the Netherlands? A Dutcherasaurus Rex!)

Most of my life is spent avoiding conflict. I hardly ever visit Syria.” – Alex Horne (Photo: Pexels.com) Meaning: That you will take care of something, fix something or get the job done. 32. Get a fresh noseA Belgian lights a match and blows it right out again. “So”, he thinks, “I’ll keep this one, because this one works.”) I, a French person, recently bought a female hamster from the Netherlands Her name is 'Amster Dame. In the Netherlands it is quite normal to use caricatures of race and ethnicity that are understood here as funny, while they can be deeply offensive to people from outside the Netherlands.