Joined in 2023 
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I don’t remember Shrek having huge feminine eyelashes. But hey, maybe this is fine. Artistic license and that. Maybe it’s for some poor chap with big bushy eyebrows and lady lashes, who gets called Shrek as an affection in-joke. Without knowing the whole story, who are we to judge. This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin'... I'm makin' waffles. Probably the most accurate attempt in this list. However, I doubt a one year old is going to be able to appreciate that fact. Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. CAKE! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers! You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me very deep just now... You know what, Shrek? I think this whole wall thing is to keep somebody out!
Something’s just clearly gone wrong here. It barely looks like anything, let alone Shrek. A cake that has truly gone wrong. Fiona: The sooner we get to Duloc, the better! Donkey: Oh, you gonna love it there, Princess, it's beautiful! Fiona: And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what's he like? Shrek: Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in short supply. [chortles, washes his face] Donkey: Yeah! There are those who think little of him! [Shrek and Donkey laugh] Fiona: Stop it. Stop it, both of you! Y'know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. Shrek: [grins] Maybe. But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow! Fiona: [suddenly anxious] Tomorrow? Will it really take that long? Shouldn't we set up camp? Shrek: No, that'll take longer. Fiona: But there's... robbers in the woods! Donkey: [tense] Whoa, time out, Shrek! Campin' sure is startin' to sound like a good idea 'round here! Shrek: Hey, come on! I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest- Fiona: [furious] I need to find somewhere to camp NOW! Hope you like nightmares, Killian! (Also, KILLian? This kid confirmed for serial killer in the making). So during my research on Shrek I came across a strange phenomenon. It seems that Shrek is a popular subject of birthday cakes. And why not? I mean, kids love it (and adults too!) so why not bake a cake of our Ogrelord?A rare ‘full body’ Shrek. The proportions are all wrong though. But I do appreciate the happily jaunty angle. This is my third post now either concerning or referencing Shrek. And that’s obviously not a bad thing at all. Shrek: Fiona? Are you alright? [Fiona looks at herself, and sees she is still an ogre] Fiona: Yes. But, I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful. Shrek: But you are beautiful. Fiona: Really? Shrek: Really, really. Donkey: I was hopin' this would be a happy ending. [Shrek and Fiona kiss] Shrek's Karaoke Dance Party [ edit ] By night one way, by day another / Thus shall be the norm / Till you receive true love's kiss / then, take love's true form." Donkey's owner: [moves Donkey's lips] I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw. Captain: Get her outta my sight. Owner: No, no! I swear! He can talk!
It's a spell! When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this, this horrible ugly beast! I was placed in the tower to await the day when my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad before the sun sets, and he sees me... like this. But ya gotta have friends... Shrek: Donkey! Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends. Donkey: Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest. Shrek: Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I? Donkey: Uh... [looks Shrek up and down] Really tall? Shrek: No! I'm an ogre! Y’know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks!" Doesn't that bother you? Donkey: [shakes his head happily] Nope. Shrek: [surprised] Really? Donkey: Really, really. Shrek enters the tournament] Farquaad: What is that? It's hideous! Shrek: Well, that's not very nice. [gestures to Donkey] It's just a donkey. Maybe if Shrek was put in a wind tunnel he’d look like this. But he hasn’t been, and doesn’t look like this. I have no further comment.
The first thing I put on the blank sheet of cake was Donkey’s teeth and Donkey and Shrek eyes. It was made from white rolled out fondant you can buy at Wal-Mart. Or you can make it by adding powered sugar until you can make a ball from your icing. I used a circular baby bottle cap to cut the circles for the eyes and I used the other side of the star tips to cut out the retina part of the eye. I set them down on the cake as a guide for where the rest of the face should go. You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait."? Parfaits are delicious! This is more like it. This actually looks like Shrek (if you can’t tell, just compare it to the Shrek fairy cakes orbiting Shrek Prime). He’s almost too expressive though, in an ‘uncanny valley’ kind of way. Haunting.
I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside.
Size & Servings: The cake shown is a 6 inchround top tier on a 10 inchround base. The whole cake sits on a 12 inch cake board. It serves up to 35 guests.
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