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Moreover, Sauer says the Ohnut can also help transgender women following gender confirmation surgery. She hopes a future clinical trial can be conducted that specifically focuses on the Ohnut’s potential in this area since resources for trans women following surgery are limited. The societal silence around painful sex and pelvic health is part of a larger systemic problem where our medical institutions, education systems, and insurance policies generally don’t support female sexual dysfunction,” explains Sauer. New York sex and relationship therapist Cyndi Darnell specializes in the psychosomatic aspect of painful intercourse. She explains that “psychosomatic” doesn’t mean that a patient is imagining their pain, but that there more factors that should be considered when approaching treatment. “Pelvic/sexual pain is very real and not imaginary. Persistent problems with painful intercourse can be approached through talk therapy, education and partner education,” she says.

Another said the Kegel Toning Set was a ‘fun exercise programme,’ adding: “I have found that they not only tone my pelvic floor muscles but they also turn me on which is a bonus.” A penis-shortening device modeled after Giulelmus Fabricius Hildanus' description. Credit: Courtesy of Erwin Kompanje The object looks like its name — stretchy donuts — and fits around the base of a phallic object like a penis or sex toy. It also holds a condom in place.

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The Ohnut approaches “painful sex holistically,” allowing users to control how deeply the vagina is penetrated during sex through compression technology and a patent-pending linking ring. I think we have a cultural myth that sex is supposed to be simple,” says Amy Steinhauer, a sex therapist from Evanston, Illinois. She notes attitudes toward sexual pain are “similar to how our larger culture tends to view mental health problems, unfortunately.” Denying the fact that sometimes sex hurts is like being embarrassed to have the flu,” Sauer says. “And this is not just a conversation for women. Men have been showing up in the most incredible ways, eager to learn. Our male testers find themselves asking, ‘Does this feel good? What about this?’” Depending on the situation and person, pain can also occur at different times, including during sexual entry or other types of penetration (e.g., inserting a tampon), during deep thrusting, or hours after intercourse.

There's also a set of Penis Bumpers for reducing the the depth of penetration. These stretchy rings mean the wearer won’t have to worry about going too deep, so their partner can relax and enjoy the moment in comfort. Bottom line, the Ohnut isn’t going to work for everybody because every body is different, and it certainly won’t work for all types of pelvic pain. Even I still experience painful sex sometimes. I think for some people, the Ohnut may just provide space to relax — and the body’s inability to relax can be a significant contributor to the reasons penetration can hurt. To try it out, snag one for yourself here. What changed? Over the last week, I’ve been able to have the kind of sex I used to have — the kind that leaves me sore in the good way the next day — and it’s all thanks to this little thing called the Ohnut. What is the Ohnut, and how does it work?The terms we use when talking about sex reflect the widespread and longstanding nature of this penile focus, argues Amy Boyajian of Wild Flower, a sexual health boutique focused on inclusion and education. Specifically, they convey the long-entrenched idea that "the penis-owner is the one doing and leading the action of sex," they explain. "If sex came from a receiver-centered view, we might say envelopment or enwrapping" instead of penetration when talking about intercourse. Sauer and others draw a direct line from this legacy of overt sexual bias in the medical domain to modern practitioners' widespread cluelessness about and dismissiveness of receptive partners' reports of pain during deep penetration. This history also goes a long way towards explaining why even seemingly progressive guides to navigating this sort of pain focus on what a receptive partner can do to accommodate a big penis, rather than on what a penis-haver can do to work with receptive anatomy. Notably, most prescribe relaxation techniques, stretching regimens, plenty of build-up and lubrication, and positions that task receptive partners with controlling the depth, angle, and speed of penetration. Bigger isn't always better This broad, public reevaluation of norms and expectations around sex and pleasure, alongside the mainstreaming of the sexual health and wellness industry, then created cultural and economic space for a new wave of products designed by and/or for receptive partners. Which explains how and why a few other explicitly depth-limiting devices, like the established toy brand Perfect Fit's The Bumper Thrust Buffer, launched around the same time as the OhNut. Another product worth considering is the Silicone Dilator Set. If you suffer from vaginal tightness, these dilators can gradually increase in diameter so you can slowly introduce your body to penetration.