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Gently allow penetration to the point of minimal discomfort. It may be more comfortable for the bottom to control penetration by sitting on their partner’s penis. Within a minute, the sphincter will relax and the penis can be slowly inserted fully. If you have a vagina, the butt plug is also a wonderful way to experience double penetration: Slide one in after applying lube and wear it during vaginal sex with a penis or dildo. You can also simultaneously stimulate your clit with fingers or a vibrator. Many people love receiving oral while they have a butt plug in. That said, you don't need a partner to enjoy butt plugs — they make for excellent masturbation companions. In fact, solo sex is a lovely way to explore anal play. The bottom line is that anal pleasure through butt plugs is something anyone can enjoy. What should I know about lube? When it comes to butt plugs, look no further. We have a huge selection covering every possible shape and size, length and depth. Not just for the boys, our massive range of plugs really does offer something for everyone. Podnar, S. Clinical elicitation of the penilo-cavernosus reflex in circumcised men. BJU Int. 109, 582–585 (2012). Richel, O., De Vries, H. J. C., Dijkgraaf, M. G. W., Van Noesel, C. J. M. & Prins, J. M. Risk Factors for the Presence of Anal Intraepithelial Neoplasia in HIV+ Men Who Have Sex with Men. PLoS ONE 8, e84030 (2013).
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First, don't neglect foreplay. Instead of going straight for the ass, try a few other activities you enjoy, like oral sex, to get your body turned on and receptive to a new kind of stimulation. After anal sex, shower normally with a gentle soap. Clean the outside of the anus very gently — do not attempt to scrub. Do not use enemas, including soap suds or Fleets. Get tested for STIs every three months if you are having anal intercourse with more than one partner, and every six months if you are monogamous. You can easily find a gay-friendly or gay-identifying doctor through Lighthouse to avoid negative discrimination or stigma. What If Bottoming Still Isn’t Blissful? According to sex and relationship expert Jessica O'Reilly, the key to anal play is relaxation. As she writes in The New Sex Bible: The New Guide to Sexual Love, there are two muscle rings known as the sphincter around the entrance to the anus. You want to be gentle with them when inserting anything into your butt. "Relax, breathe deeply, and bear down slightly with your sphincter muscles as you insert [a toy] for the first time," writes O'Reilly. To remove a butt plug, gently pull it out while taking slow and steady deep breaths, or have your partner hold the base and slide it out for you. O'Reilly also points out that removal can be easier if you've orgasmed during anal play, as orgasms relax the pelvic floor. What about cleanup? If your anus is too tightly contracted when you are first penetrated, you’ll run the risk of tearing skin or damaging your sphincter. That’s why it’s important to relax your anus before penetration using various foreplay techniques and to keep your anus relaxed and well-lubricated while bottoming.
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Dilators help with psychological fears by preparing you more for what to expect, giving you total control over your body, and erasing any fear or embarrassment in the eyes of a partner. Physically, they allow the sphincter to accommodate a penis over time and should help bottoming get easier When bottoming hurts, it could be that your anus is anatomically too tight or you are unable to relax, which is oftentimes a psychological response. Many people have had negative bottoming experiences in the past or simply have a fear of the unknown, rendering them unable to relax their anus and enjoy safe and pain-free anal intercourse. Some people are simply tighter than others — and some penises are larger than others — which can make anal intercourse more painful. After foreplay, lubricate the outside of the anus and your partner’s penis. It’s important not to stimulate the bottom’s penis while attempting penetration. During penetration, if the bottom’s penis is stimulated, he is likely to experience the bulbocavernosus reflex, or the involuntary contraction of the anal sphincters. This reflex is more pronounced in uncircumcised men, and will make bottoming more painful and difficult.
A Doctor’s Guide to Bottoming - Lighthouse A Doctor’s Guide to Bottoming - Lighthouse
Rodger, A. J. et al. Sexual Activity Without Condoms and Risk of HIV Transmission in Serodifferent Couples When the HIV-Positive Partner Is Using Suppressive Antiretroviral Therapy. JAMA 316, 171–181 (2016).
If for any reason anal sex remains painful or you notice the appearance of lumps, bleeding, or an ongoing itch, see a healthcare professional immediately for a thorough anorectal examination. Find Bottom Friendly Medical Support Next, start with something smaller than a plug: Lube up your finger, or ask your partner if you can borrow theirs. Circle the anus with the finger, glide it gently in and out of the anus, then add another finger.
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