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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"

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There is a wide array of topics of conversation that we feel uncomfortable with, and as a result, most of us try to avoid. Speaking shame is so important as its survival depends on going undetected (i.e. through secrecy and silence). Subsequently, if we recognise and understand our triggers, practice critical awareness and reach out to others, we can grow our resilience as we practice communicating about our shame with our most-trusted advisors who use their own compassion and courage whilst listening and supporting us. Brown has discovered another hurdle in her research- it can be difficult to speak about shame as words sometimes fail us when we experience visceral feelings.

I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Co…

A blogger friend mentioned Brene Brown after I wrote a blog post about vulnerability. My friend said in her comment that I was courageous, yet I'd written the post about how scary it was to be vulnerable. I was puzzled as to how that made me courageous. Then I read I Thought It Was Just Me and I understood better. Brown explains courage as the strength to speak your heart - and this type of courage is one of the key ways to develop and maintain shame resilience.

Mostly on Overdrive app audio loaned on Kindle found myself visually reading along and mostly listening before bed. We talk about our feelings all the time, yet we know quite little about them. When you say “I’m hungry,” do you know where that hunger comes from? What happens in your body when you feel it? And yet, we are always reminded by society whom we need to be and what we need to do to become “adequate.” In this struggle, we learn to hide our imperfections, and hence, our true selves.

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) summary - Blinkist I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) summary - Blinkist

However, regardless of its forms of manifestation, to be able to overcome shame, you need first to comprehend what triggers it. Although I love the idea of shame as a shared human experience, I remain unconvinced that this particular 'expert' is the go-to person for this topic. I could find no middle ground between her definition and my own, and therefore her 'exercises' seemed largely misguided (what is a 'shame-trigger' if shame is something we foist upon ourselves?), and her own examples incredibly shallow. This book may work for some - shared experience or not, we are all still individuals. But for those of us crafting our whips of guilt, self-doubt, and worthlessness in private... I'm afraid this book does not scratch the surface. Most of us feel empathy when we share some sort of painful experience with another person, and see that they get what we are talking about.

Book details

Casandra Brené Brown is an American research professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host. Brown is known in particular for her research on shame, vulnerability, and leadership. A long-time researcher and academic, Brown became famous following a widely viewed TEDx talk in 2010. Book details We will become more alienated if we allow ourselves to become caught in a perpetual avoidance of our genuine feelings. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and seek the empathy you need to heal rather than become a victim of these destructive behaviors. The only way to beat shame is having friends and support networks with whom we can share our experiences without being judged. The Role of Anger

I Thought It Was Just Me Summary - Four Minute Books I Thought It Was Just Me Summary - Four Minute Books

I am so overwhelmed by this book. It has been life-changing for me. But I am afraid to share an honest review, because of how people who know me and read the review will judge me. Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. New York, USA: Penguin. However, avoiding talking about shame means that not everyone understands what it is. That is what we are here to explain.The shame resilience theory is a grounded theory and is based on building resilience to shame by connecting with our authentic selves and growing meaningful relationships with other people. Shame resilience involves moving towards empathy (courage, connection and compassion) when we are experiencing shame and away from shame (fear, blame and disconnection). An affirming, revealing examination of the painful effects of shame—with new, powerful strategies that promise to transform a woman’s ability to love, parent, work, and build relationships. I've read and heard Ms Brown speak on this topic often. The core of what I've learned about shame comes when someone personalized they're bad for what has occurred verses this was an action of the individual or someone else that impacts the recipients interpretation.

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