The PDA Paradox: The Highs and Lows of My Life on a Little-Known Part of the Autism Spectrum

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If being autistic makes you feel like an alien on this planet then being PDA can sometimes make you feel like a space monster.

When we are doing something that is exactly what we want to do when we want to do it and that we have control over, it is the most euphoric feeling; like the stars have aligned. It also leads to a great deal of stress for you and the potential of being hurt when they do lash out. Its her body, and someone trying to govern when she can use her bladder is toxic – she should be allowed autonomy and the ability to use this basic right at her own discretion/as need be.PDA is, however, a profile of autism, and sits in the blue inner circle of this diagram (produced by the PDA Society). Very often, they will believe that they have caused the rejection or criticism and will become fearful of entering situations that are similar to the triggering event in case the same thing happens again. Sometimes it feels like everywhere we look, there is demand bearing down on us that sends our anxiety through the roof.

By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file.I agree with this, without the rational/“irrational” distinction: “There’s huge potential for autistic RATIONAL demand avoidance to be seen as a pathology people try to train out of them instead of understanding their sensory, social, and personal needs. Power hierarchies of ableism, capitalism, meritocracy, gender, Speciesism, Beauty, racial privilege, parent/child, age, financial inequality, social class, social status/charisma/ability to deceive and manipulate – and even one person getting to tell another when they can use their bladder, or when they can go to bed isnt appropriate according to the truth of who we all are on this planet. make a budget, set up a different account, and wire a specific amount of money there each month, and then pay all your bills from that account (maybe with direct debit?

I listened so intently that I listened to the whole audiobook in two sessions; only stopping the first day (yesterday) when I could no longer ignore my earth suit’s nagging incessancy for basic needs. We probably won't get a formal diagnosis as it is too expensive, but so many of the strategies that I have read up about over these past two weeks are how I have been parenting him generally, although at times I have defaulted back towards traditional parenting or imposes stricter rules/routine.

Toddlers who don't want to be told 'no' to more chocolate, teenagers who choose not to tidy their rooms, adults who put off doing important work or making appointments, children who don't want to do PE. As a fellow Aspie with PDA, I relate so very well with many of Harry’s prospectives, which had me nodding in agreement and spontaneously laughing as I took in every word. It is a neurotype in its own right because, although it shares some characteristics with autistics, there are more that are either conflicting with autistic ones or are entirely different. You have given me a great resource for overcoming my many “blah” days and for retuning my mindset when it strays into the mental brambles of imposter syndrome and self-distraction; reminding me that I too have something valuable to contribute to the lives of others, instead of sinking into the disillusionment that chains my mind and prevents me from following my passions.

And actually as a young and tender lad I was the one that was wrong, you have confirmed my my most inner and deepest conviction about what they said, and now know I was right! Harry shares his experiences and related insight with such eloquence and grace that I both learned and felt much while listening. Often, this is a means of escape from the World, whether in the form of taking on the role of being either someone else, an animal, or an inanimate object, or playing role-playing games (like Dungeons and Dragons, etc. When you are less anxious and are in control, the need to resist the demand – to gain control – is far less than the times when you feel out of your comfort zone and your need for control is sky high. Over the past two weeks I have reverted back to my normal style - giving him much more choice, giving warnings when a transition was about to take place and letting him start his day as slowly as he wants.It has been a huge comfort to us to hear from adults with PDA and to know that the future can be rosy.